GameStop, would bug me even minus the CEO’s wishful thinking on the future of brick-and-mortar. But the retail behemoth sometimes sucks me in regardless, thanks to its knack for sweeterning deals with unique perks. The pre-order bonus, for instance. Getting a free hot pocket-red headband, emblazoned with the words “Street Fighter IV” just for preordering a title months in advance can dazzle all but the most astute gamer. For anybody with sufficient otaku, these “one-time only” opportunities read like merit badges and/or stock certificates. A plush version of Country Crock vat mascot Mashy might boost preorders of a tater-related game by thousands, whether the title played like Grand Theft Auto or a Burger King advergames.
The rarest, most profound perks are early releases, as with LittleBigPlanet at the end of last week. On Friday, I got a call from Game Stop notification bot Ashley from GameStop, telling me I could come in and pick up the game on Saturday afternoon because I was one of the “awesome” individuals who had placed a preorder. (sackboy Kratos was too tempting). “I’m glad I dut it,” I told a friend, immediately realizing how much I hated what I just said.
They got me.
Saturday arrived and my girlfriend and I arrived at the store.
“How can I help you?” the beady-eyed lad behind the counter asked.
“I’m here to pick up LittleBigPlanet,” I said, barely containing my enthusiasm.
The GameStop attendant sighs and looks away.
This is never good at any retail store, restaurant, hospital, or fitness center and does nothing but give the person on the other end an increased heart rate and unwanted suspicions.
He goes on to explain how UPS delivered the games to another store merely 15 minutes away and since the carrier doesn’t deliver on Sundays, I wouldn’t be able to pick my copy up until Monday. Why this lazy lout didn’t just go get the shipment is beyond my understanding.
Thanks to their blatant incompetence, I had to wait until Monday. Normally this isn’t a big deal, but a day-early release or a new costume count as legit pre-order bonuses. Wasted gas and broken promises don’t. Sorry, Ashley, you let me down one time too many. Bye.
